“To think is to practice brain chemistry.” ~ Deepak Chopra
We are all brain scientists. Our thoughts affect our brain chemistry. And we can change our brain chemistry by consciously choosing better-feeling thoughts. Just like surgeons, we can carefully excise negative thoughts from our gray matter.
Neurons that Fire Together, Wire Together
Our patterns of thought are simply habits, but they are grounded in rich neural circuitry. Like deer in the woods, our thoughts form paths that will most likely be retread unless we consciously set out to find a new way. The first step to that new way is to be aware that thoughts can either be unconscious or conscious.
Fortunately, the unconscious variety is actually very short-lived. You experience these when you have an emotional reaction to a trigger in your environment. For example: you’re walking on a road and come upon a rattling snake. When you see and hear the snake, a circuit in your brain trips to tell you the environment isn’t safe.
For a short time hormones, or chemical messengers, flood your body and you are in “fight or flight” mode. You stifle a scream and freeze or run in the opposite direction. You don’t have a choice about that – your nervous system makes the decision for you.
Choose to “Unhook”
Brain research has shown that the time from the trigger through the hormone’s release and complete dissolution in your bloodstream is only 90 seconds. If you are still anxious and uncomfortable after that brief period, it is because you are continuing to tell the story of the snake in your path—even though it is far away and not able to harm you.
When you continue to think of the snake you are “hooking” back into the fear-based circuitry, even though your environment is now safe. It is important to pay close attention to how much time we spend hooked into the circuitry of negative emotions. Getting caught up in these loops for long periods of time can cause us to get stuck in a groove like a warped 45, and they can lead to feelings of depression and powerlessness.
The challenge, then, is not to get hooked. The challenge is to choose to think other thoughts, thoughts that feel better, like, “I’m glad I was paying attention and avoided upsetting that snake.”
Identify new pathways by choosing better-feeling thoughts
To take another example, let’s say I am thinking about my 14-year-old son. Thinking about him is a specific circuit in my brain. Each thought I think about him can either trigger me to feel very strong positive or negative emotions.
In my brain, thoughts of my son and the emotional circuitry of joy are intimately linked. Usually, I smile just thinking of him. Right now I think of a song he has been singing lately, the Beatles’ “Good Day Sunshine.” But my son sings it “Good Day, Some Time.” It cracks me up every time.
But there are also other occasions when I am likely to feel bad when I think of him. Earlier today we argued about when (of if!) he was going to complete his school work due by the end of the day.
When I think of that exchange I feel bad. I wish we hadn’t argued. If only we could have negotiated and found a solution that worked for both of us. Or if I had been less tired after a day of multiple stressors. I know that I could have been more patient and handled the situation better and the fact that I didn’t is the source of negative emotion.
Consciously choose better-feeling thoughts
So now I have a choice: focus on his happy song or our argument. In the moment of thinking either thought, and tripping its underlying emotional and physiological circuitry, my mouth will either lift in a smile or purse in a frown. Those strong thoughts and feelings have the potential to jump instantly into my mind. But I always have the power to consciously choose which emotional and physiological loops I want to hook into.
Realizing that you can be aware of your neural circuitry and choose whether or not to engage it is a powerful tool. Learn to give yourself 90 seconds to breathe through the release and dissolution of the negative chemical messengers, and then learning to choose a different, better-feeling thought will help you go a long way on your path to happiness.
If you’d like to find out more, click the button below and schedule a free, 15-minute call with me. We’ll discuss how I may be able to help you choose better-feeling thoughts so that you can enjoy more peace and calm, no matter what.