An “amygdala hijack” is an immediate, overwhelming negative emotional response to a trigger. It happens so fast you’re not even aware it’s happening. Now that we’re under almost constant duress, it’s more important than ever to make ourselves safe from it.
Neuroscientist Joseph Le Doux explains “…the architecture of the brain gives the amygdala a privileged position as the emotional sentinel.” This is why it’s able to hijack the brain. Any external stimuli that’s perceived as a potential threat goes straight to the amygdala even before a signal reaches the neocortex.
In my counseling practice, I talk with my clients a lot about brain science. You might not be familiar with brain anatomy, so let me explain what this means. When the thalamus sends an express mail signal to the amygdala—the center of our emotions—the amygdala alerts the parts of our brain that can act for our survival using signals much faster and stronger than they’d receive if the signal went through our “thinking” brain, the neocortex.
The Amygdala Hijack is a Survival Response
That way we can act and react without having to think first, which is a plus in a crisis. On the other hand, though, a hair-trigger reaction doesn’t serve us well when there’s no truly life-threatening situation. In our civilized lives we’re unlikely to encounter a tiger, but other threats, like perceived insults, are routed through our amygdala, trigger our fight-or-flight response, and get us reacting forcibly. When that happens, though, we often react in a way that leads us to wonder later, “Why did I respond that way?? What was I thinking?!”
It’s a Negative Reaction, Not a Reasoned Response
The point, of course, is that you weren’t thinking. By design. Furthermore, any strong negative emotion – anxiety, anger, guilt – trips off the amygdala and impairs the prefrontal cortex’s working memory. The power of these emotions simply overwhelms rationality. This is why we can’t think straight.
When the amygdala is taking up blood and oxygen, less of these vital substances flow to the prefrontal cortex, which means that our ability to think clearly and find creative solutions is greatly diminished. Matthew Lieberman, a neuroscientist, found an inverse relationship between activation of the amygdala and activity in the prefrontal cortex.
The prefrontal cortex is where rational thought and judgment sit, and it’s the part of the brain most involved with executive function (the process by which the brain manages itself, directing our attention and giving us focus). So the more stressed we feel—the more active our amygdala gets—the more likely it is that we’re going to do or say something we’ll regret later.
Immediate Loss of IQ
Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional EQ, says it’s as if we temporarily lose 10 to 15 IQ points because we’re thinking with much less capacity and brain power. So if you sense that you’re on the verge of an amygdala hijack, the best thing you can do is take a break. Here’s exactly what to do:
- NOTICE: When you’ve been triggered, you’ll feel stressed immediately. So start thinking of stress as an alarm that goes off when you’re about to lose control. This means you need to get out of your current situation fast.
- FLEE: When you feel threatened, I suggest you train your amygdala to choose FLIGHT rather than FIGHT, so that you have time to pull yourself together and make better choices about how you want to respond.
- CHOOSE LOVE: Once you’ve gotten a break from the conversation, think of two or more people who love and support you. It doesn’t matter whether or not they’re alive. Think of the reasons you’re grateful for these people. Spend a few minutes feeling their love for you.
- RE-CONNECT: By now you should be ready to rejoin the conversation. Hopefully the break has given the other person the time they need to compose themselves, too. But if not, you’re in a great position to make the best of any situation. Now it’s time to empathize. Say something like, “I can see that you were really angry at me. You were incredibly frustrated or disappointed in me for doing X (or failing to do Y).” This may be very hard for you to say, but try because it’s magic.
It may not be fair, but it is necessary
Of course, it may seem unfair that you’re the one taking all the responsibility for the negative emotion because you’re not the one that started the criticizing or the complaining. You’re not the one who said terrible, truly awful things. But you also probably know that your habitual reaction of defending yourself and fighting back isn’t working either. So it’s time for you to change how you react and do something completely different. In any event, just try it and I bet you anything you’ll feel better.
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