As a parent, the journey of letting go can be one of the most challenging aspects of raising a child. The process begins almost immediately, from the moment we leave our baby in someone else’s care.
From entrusting them to another caregiver, to witnessing their first steps, to sending them off to school, to allowing them to hang out with friends on their own, to granting them the privilege of driving alone, and to moving them into their college dorm or their first apartment, the process of letting go is a complex and emotional process. This is so because we love and care for our children deeply, and we want the best for them, and also because their choices will seemingly contradict our hopes and dreams for them.
The Art of Letting Go
I’ve noticed that the parents I work with often grapple with the idea of letting go. It’s a natural inclination to want to protect and guide our children, but it’s equally important to recognize that this process of letting go is a crucial part of their growth and development. When we understand that experiencing difficulty emotions tied to letting go is entirely normal, we can start to manage and accept these feelings with greater ease.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation can be powerful tools to assist us in managing the emotions that arise during the letting go process. Here’s how to incorporate these practices into your journey as a parent:
1. Find Your Focal Point: In moments when you’re struggling to let go, find a focal point that works best for you. It might be a deep breath, a mantra, or a visualization that brings you peace. Use this point to anchor yourself when faced with the challenges of letting go.
2. Build Emotional Resilience: Mindfulness and meditation are excellent ways to build emotional resilience. Through regular practice, you can learn to acknowledge your emotions without judgment, allowing you to process and release them more effectively.
3. Return to the Practice: Remember that your mindfulness and meditation practice is always available to you. When faced with moments of doubt or emotional turmoil, return to your practice to regain your balance and composure.
A Personal Experience of Letting Go
Recently, I had to confront the challenge of letting go in my own journey as a parent. My 18 year-old son, Griffin (pictured here), has a dream of becoming a professional soccer player. He enrolled in college and even joined the college soccer team, believing this was the right path to achieve his goal. However, as time has passed, it has become increasingly apparent to him that this route might not align with his aspirations. He has started considering the possibility of leaving school to commit full-time to soccer training.
This presented a difficult choice for me. Part of me wants him to take the “safe” path, one where he could simultaneously work on his soccer skills and earn a college degree. However, after conversations with Griffin, I can appreciate his point of view that he won’t improve to the level he wants to on his current trajectory. I’ve realized that my aspirations for him simply don’t match his own. I’m now on my own journey to let go of my dreams and expectations for him so that I can wholeheartedly support his journey toward his dreams for himself.
In this process of letting go as a parent, I’ve encountered many moments of doubt and uncertainty. Yet, above all else, I want my son to feel supported on his path. Just as I let go when he took his first steps as a baby, I now let go as he takes his first steps into adulthood. By releasing my expectations and embracing his choices, I aim to provide the unwavering support he needs to flourish and reach his full potential.
A Profound Act of Love and Trust
I truly believe that letting go as a parent is a profound act of love and trust in your child’s growth and abilities. While it may be challenging, with the aid of mindfulness and meditation practices, you can navigate this journey with the required courage and grace.
I hope sharing my own personal experience of letting go of my expectations for my son’s future helps underscore my belief in the importance of supporting our children in their own aspirations and dreams, no matter how different they may be from our own. Even though letting go can be very difficult, it’s also an essential part of helping our children grow into their own unique and successful selves.
If you’d like to find out more, click the button below and schedule a free, 15-minute call. We’ll discuss how we may be able to help.